2016. június 16., csütörtök

Raw Thoughts

I know what you're thinking...

Here she goes again with her words of depression, overemotional self..But here's the thing. All I can do is be honest. Do you know what I hate? Showing everything is okay and perfect when it's no where near to that. The world is a collection of people who lie. Who lie to others and themselves, who put on a show, a fake smile to survive. We've all done it.
Deep down everyone wants 4 things: to love, to be loved, to be happy and be accepted for who they are. 
Am I wrong?
Fight me on it all you want, but we are not robots. We are human beings who feel. Many have forgotten that. Most people rush and never stop for a moment to think about or rethink real values and the meaning of life. I have, still do. Maybe too much, too often, but I'm still clean, free of all the dirt this world throws. I don't let my skin, soul absorb it. 
I ask myself one question every day: Why am I here? Lord, why? I guess it's time for my voice to be heard. That's my blessing that I guess I haven't fought hard even for. Maybe it's time to stop trying to fool myself or let them bend me into what I'm not, but finally step out and wear the glow that I have always deserved...

2016. május 23., hétfő

Complicated Feelings Of A Troubled Soul

That feeling...

When you're looking someone in their face, but they still can't see you.

That ache...

When you're heart can't take any more pain and is close to breaking.

Those tears...

That roll down your face one after another, never ending, forever flowing waterfall
you can't control.

That silence...

When you're surrounded by people, but all is mute.
Sometimes I want to scream just so they know I'm there..breathing still,
alive still, that I still feel even though I feel completely invisible.


It's deadly. This kills more than anything else. You drown in your tears, never overcome
your fears because you have no one to share with, no one to listen.


Mine just broke. Don't know if I'll ever be the same.

Death of an angel...

Life is not a game. Play it wrong, you fail. This world is beyond me, I don't belong here.
Let me fly high, sleep peacefully until my soul is born again. I just want to be free...

2016. május 3., kedd

Kissed By The Devil

Your skin on mine.
It's the most beautiful thing I've seen in my life.
It was true, it was real, I know that much.
So how could you?
When we love each other deeply.
Or is this not love?
Are you the devil with an angel face?
How could you hurt me like that, say those things,
put your hands on me?
My wounds are now visible to the world.
The scars will never heal.
I've been kissed by the devil who fed me poison
and lived off my devotion.
You pierced my soul with your dagger of anger.
You shot me multiple times with your hurtful words.
Each word, one bullet.
I wish I was able to not remember, but I relive what you did
to me, how you treated me every day.

Wasn't I the only one who cared about the real you and what's inside?
I just wanted to love you.
Well maybe you're right, love isn't enough.
Love can't be enough in a cold world full of hate and betrayal.
I was always there though. I never left like all the others, but
all goes unnoticed, unappreciated. Same script, different cast.
The difference this time?
I know my worth. No, I'm not perfect. I may not be the smartest,
the fastest, the most confident, hard or the toughest, but my heart is pure.
I can love. I don't hate, I don't judge. I accept, I embrace, not reject.
This is who I am.

You asked me a long time ago if you deserve me or not.
My answer to that now is: NO, you don't.
We built castles in the sky and you destroyed our kingdom.
You kicked down all the doors, smashed every window.
I pick up the shards as they slice my skin and cut deeper and deeper.
I see our reflection, but it looks nothing like us.

I love you so fucking much. I do.
I want to believe we'll make it out alive, unharmed, but the truth is
you lost my trust. You killed us, you finished us,
but now we can rest in peace side by side, knowing that we tried.
We've been to hell and back, so maybe in heaven I'll be yours and you'll
be mine..

2016. április 21., csütörtök

H.I.M. (He Is Mine)

Why does it have to feel so good?
Why do we have to be so perfect?
Maybe if the flame didn't burn so bright, I wouldn't
miss you morning to night.
But it's growing, getting brighter, it burns me, it blinds me.
We're flying higher.

I need you, you complete me.
I can't stand it...
Can't stand being without you.
The lonliness, the silence..

Going crazy..
Holding it in my hand, waiting for that ring every morning.
Your voice..
It does something to me.
Nothing else matters when you speak.
Your tone soothes me, consoles me.

Your mind...
That smart mind of yours just turns me on every time.
I wanna know your deepest thoughts.
I wanna know it all.

I can't wait.
I wanna fall in your arms and stay there forever.
Can we?
We could just be.
I just need you near me.

I wanna touch your lips that I would never cease to kiss.
I want it.
I wanna kiss you there..gently, make you beg for more.
Throw our clothes on the floor.
I'm already naked around you.
You know me.
No secrets.
My soul is stripped.

They say love is blind, but I see clearly.
I see perfection, the beauty of us.
Dancing on the same wavelength,
our hearts beating to the same rhythm.
I guess this is how love should feel when it's meant to be...

2016. március 7., hétfő

Passion Overload

To kiss you..
I have to.
I need to.
That's all I desire.
It's all I want to do.

Just you..
Only you..
You're my only wish, my every dream.

I enjoy..
Every touch, every kiss.
Your whispers in my ear.
I want it again, again and again.
I want you inside me.
I'm addicted to the way it feels.
You take me to places I've never been.
Make me scream 'til I can't breathe.
Let me feel this bliss for as long as I live.
Over and over.

So in love, all I see is us.
We're beautiful.
It's done.
We've become one.

2015. december 17., csütörtök


I woke up this morning and something was missing.
How you used to greet me...
I used to smile because your words kept me alive, now I'm
lost in emptiness, spinning around.
Full of doubt, full of fear...I need you near.
This distance is deadly.
Still trying to find my place and as these tears roll down my face,
The more I think, the more I feel that everything around me is fake.

I wanted to build a new world with you. I still do. I miss you.
I miss you every day, every minute, every second.
Something's changed and it's beyond my control.
We've been to hell and back, you've seen it all. My best, my worst.
I opened my heart...something I never thought I'd be able to do.
You held it in your hand and made it beat again. I miss you terribly...
As each day passes, I feel weaker, I die a little more,
But I'm still here trying to stay strong.

I want it back...what used to be.
I want to have a reason to live.
It was so beautiful...
I wanna go back to that place, the paradise we created, that's where I felt safe.
True love can take a whole lot.
It's weird how my love for you is so strong that it breaks my heart.
Does that even make sense?
I don't know.
I do know this though...
You've become a part of me, a part of my body, a gem in my soul
I don't ever want to lose or let go.