2015. december 17., csütörtök


I woke up this morning and something was missing.
How you used to greet me...
I used to smile because your words kept me alive, now I'm
lost in emptiness, spinning around.
Full of doubt, full of fear...I need you near.
This distance is deadly.
Still trying to find my place and as these tears roll down my face,
The more I think, the more I feel that everything around me is fake.

I wanted to build a new world with you. I still do. I miss you.
I miss you every day, every minute, every second.
Something's changed and it's beyond my control.
We've been to hell and back, you've seen it all. My best, my worst.
I opened my heart...something I never thought I'd be able to do.
You held it in your hand and made it beat again. I miss you terribly...
As each day passes, I feel weaker, I die a little more,
But I'm still here trying to stay strong.

I want it back...what used to be.
I want to have a reason to live.
It was so beautiful...
I wanna go back to that place, the paradise we created, that's where I felt safe.
True love can take a whole lot.
It's weird how my love for you is so strong that it breaks my heart.
Does that even make sense?
I don't know.
I do know this though...
You've become a part of me, a part of my body, a gem in my soul
I don't ever want to lose or let go.

2015. december 5., szombat

Control Freak

You're weak,
You're fake,
You're lost,
You break.
You fear,
You hate,
You lie,
Too late.

Late to apologize,
Late for compromise,
Late to realize you were wrong and
I was right.
Uncontrollable control freak,
You think you control me,
You think you have me,
You don't know me.
Sad...after all these years,
You have me in tears,
But you make me face my fears.

You left,
I bled,
You fell,
I felt dead.
You were cruel,
I was kind,
You frowned when I smiled.

You tore down what I had built,
Took what was mine.
Though I may weep at night,
When I look in the mirror,
I see a heart full of light.

2015. november 19., csütörtök


The worst of all.
It's deadly, it's gruesome.
Fear of life, fear of death.
I have both.
It haunts me, it won't leave me alone.
Trapped, doors closed, devil's eyes wide open.
I hear it speak, it's evil, it's dark, it's the darkest shade of black.
I shake, I shiver, I cry, I'm scared, but nobody hears my voice.
I need to get out of here fast, it's after me.
All I want is peace, to be happy. Will I ever be?
Will my freedom be granted?
God have you left me? You used to listen to me. Can you hear me now?
I'm falling, I need you to catch me.
I need to rise from the dirt.
What have I done? I don't think I deserve this.
I became a warrior, but even warriors fall. Even they have a heart, they feel.
I'm not made of stone, but I wish I was unbreakable, bulletproof.
God, if you're there hear my prayer. I still believe in you God.
You have never left me, so I won't leave you ever.
Come what may..
What's meant to be shall be, nothing lasts forever.

2015. október 1., csütörtök

A Pinch Of Heaven

You swam through my veins,
crept inside my soul,
there was no escape, no letting go.
Your place was already made,
you came to make me whole,
the half you gave 
was the missing piece I've been searching for.

A pinch of heaven, a hint of hell.
We fell from the angels and were under her spell.
My partner in crime. We fought, we cried, we tried,
we survived. I hope we will never have to say goodbye
until we die. 

2015. szeptember 17., csütörtök

Without You

Without you....
Even writing this down puts tears on my face.
I long to see you, hear your voice, instead, I'm stuck in this lonely place with no air.
Is this the way it will always be? Is this my destiny?
As soon as I find something to hold on to, it slips right through my hands.
The walls are slowly caving in, but we are still holding on.
I wonder if your love is true, I want to believe it, I feel we're worth fighting for.
Hearts are always tried, nothing is ever easy.
There is always a sacrifice, but I want you to know you have me.

2015. szeptember 10., csütörtök

Letter To HER

A thousand questions, blurry answers. 
One question amongst many: why?
What have I done to deserve this?
Why are you trying to sabotage my life?
Why won't you let me move forward so I can leave my past behind and finally be happy?
Don't you think I've suffered enough?
My life has been stolen, ripped from my hands and now you want to take conrol of it?
What have I done to make you treat me like this?
I have done nothing but stand by you, comfort you at dark times.
I know how it feels...I do.
Not being able to trust anyone, doubting everyone, but you can't live life like that.
You have to trust someone and I trust HIM.
Please let me go.
I want to be free.
I've done my time.
I feel my life sentence has been served.

2015. augusztus 27., csütörtök


Broken to pieces, empty inside.
Soul full of darkness, can't see the light.
You took the the light, you stole my shine.
I'm left with nothing, you've taken what's mine.
Nowhere to turn, no money in my pocket.
No plane to catch, never felt so lonely.
Broken, torn, sinking in a rusty boat alone.
Left to rot, left to die.
I put my faith in you God.
Lead the way, shine your light.